Travels to Parallel Universes

I have always considered a possibility of existence of worlds parallel to ours. What if there is another world just like this one where I am taking a break from work B.logging on my computer, and by taking this action or another I split the reality into two or three or … and so on. It was always believed that getting involved with cosmology, physics, astronomy, philosophy, transpersonal psychology, quantum physics and fiction were the only domains to encounter parallel universes. However, as it turns out there are people right now who have found a way to live in this multi-universe reality and are pursuing this lifestyle to one degree or another.

What’s the secret? How do I do it?

Simple!

There is just one step: Get offended!

You can get offended at any of the following:
Organization.

• Your friend.
• Your neighbor.
• Your spouse.
• Your child.
• Your parents.
• Your teacher.
  

The possibilities are endless. By getting offended you are establishing an implicit parallel universe where someone could have acted in a way that would not have wronged you in some way. The added benefit is that you can cut off communication with the party responsible for offense, while placing yourself beyond reproach. The deeper and more irreconcilable the expression of your offended condition is, the livelier is the parallel universe.

There are some that say that hurt feelings in most cases are nothing but hurt egos, a little Gaiva. Some radicals, like Rav Asher Kushner even coined a great term in Russian – «Недодали!» - which means something like “under-compensated.” Some go even further by formulating whole systems to eradicate parallel universe travelers. Byron Katie, a self help author, created a whole structure to deal with life. I read her book called "Loving What Is". By reading I mean, I read the ½ page of introduction, 5 first paragraphs and a quick glance at index in the back. There she places things of concern and care in three categories:

• My business
• Other people business
• God’s business

She claims that unhappiness comes as a result of people operating outside of their realm of influence (for most of you readers it is “My Business”). As elegant as this theory may be, at no point does she consider the benefits and happiness that can be achieved by living in the parallel universe, that comes from trying to operate in realms outside of “My Business”. Dwelling on thoughts like “How could she do this to me” or “Who do they think they are!!” or “I deserve better treatment” especially in settings where your response actions are limited could put you on a path to marvelous parallel universes where everything is perfect and you are the epitome of perfection.

To help you get on the road to another universe here are some templates to start getting offended:

1. When I asked for ________ it was a no go, however when _______ asked for it, suddenly it is no problem
2. After all I have done the least [they / he / she] could do ____________
3. I deserve better than this
4. I will teach [them / him / her] a lesson _________________
5. All [they / he / she] cares about is __________________
6. I always get the short end of the stick

Create your own!!

Some other tips in finding a quick path to another universe:

• Be on the constant lookout for any intentional or unintentional harm no matter how large and small caused to you
• Always be conscious of every contribution you made to any entity, to be ready to explode at any sign of bad treatment coming from it
• Assume that taking care of you is on top of everyone’s mind and get angry fast at any manifestation of the contrary
• Assume that your needs and desires represent the needs of everyone in the group, and you are doing everyone a service by publicly manifesting your level of being offended

* Caution: some techniques discussed here might involve a use of Loshon Hara which could jeopardize the placement of your lot in the world to come according to some opinions. Consult your Rav before engaging in any exercises mentioned above.