Kids First or Keep your hands away from my cake

What is an appropriate way to triage limited resources between children and adults. This posting is in response to a particular situation that arouse in my shul. It had prompted me to think about the subject from various perspectives. The subject discussed here is what would be an appropriate priority given to kids' request when accessing resources.

Here is what happened to me this last Shabbos. As I was making rounds in almost empty shul I noticed some remnants of a raspberry filled cake @ one of the tables in women's section. Few women including my wife sat there some with their children. Excited I went to the kitchen to get some hot tea to go with the cake. I was fantasizing about consuming the cake with tea on the way back from the kitchen. As soon as I arrived to the table and was about to sit down, a mother of one of the kids asked for some cake for her child. Feeling entitled to "my" raspberry slice I took the plate with cakes and removed the slices that I was interested in, before passing it to the mother to pass to the child.

My gesture was not appreciated by most mothers at the table. The sound of jaws hitting the table as they dropped made me feel that my action was misunderstood. Seeing the gap in understanding I explained, that I do give priority to adults in most anything given that all things are equal. I am not sure that the answer resonated with the mothers and later discussed the incident with my wife who is very used to me acting in unusual ways.

To consider what is appropriate I wanted to think up a few contexts where decisions do go without saying and see how and why these reasons would or would not work for my situation with raspberry cake. So here are some situations:

• Children occupying a last available seat on public transportation.
• Children occupying last remaining seats in a synagogue when adults will have to stand.
• Children interrupting adults when speaking or speaking before adults.
• Children getting challa and wine before parents and/or guests during kiddush.

And finally my situation

• Children getting last slices of Raspberry Cake before adults.

There are some exceptions of course when child's needs are urgent, life-threatening, etc...
My hypothesis is that the Russian "??? ??????? ?????" (All best things for children) has been taken a little too far and accepted without question by new parents. I think in my family we have largely broken away with that tradition; I enjoy seeing my kids play with less than latest toys and games that inspire more interesting play when objects are reused in creative ways. They know that just because so and so has an iPod that does not entitle them to one. At the same time some parents could go as far as shouting on one's spouse for turning the movie off for a child that is glued to a device, showing disrespect for the spouse right in front of a child.

Where is the right place to draw the line and why.
So we have a sliding scale of what is appropriate in different families: "All chocolate belongs to Tatti", "No, no, no, ok fine you can have it", "Children always 1st in line for everything"
Please substantiate your suggestions and be serious.

Yeshiva education + Rockmill brings down the house

It has been a while since I heard a good racial joke. I was starting to get concerned about our society forgetting the art of humor designed to demean black people. My worries have been put to rest few months ago when some Telshe Yeshiva students asked me giggling if I watched presidential inauguration. I could not get the joke, until they repeated it few times, until I finally understood that they were saying in-nigeration.

I was somehow comforted but still worried that this kind of attitudes are only found amongst the students but are no longer promoted by Rabbis at the higher echelons of Jewish education. That was until I heard Rabbi Rockmill of Ohr Somayach speak in our shul on Shabbos. In his speech he talked about failures of all systems of government including Socialism, Communism, and now Capitalism succombing to socialism. In the end he sealed his case for imminence of world destruction and arrival of Machiach by mentioning that now "we have one of them, you know, what do you call them - basketball players in the white house."

Dear Rabbi, I honestly think the world you were looking for was "shwartze" or worse. It would be difficult to persuade me that our president's choice of a sport of basketball was what you were after. That what you really meant was that polo-playing presidents are much better. It is striking and disappointing that you interpret election of a black man for US highest office as a sign of impending doom and not as America setting aside bigotries that have permeated minds of most and still permeate the minds of many.

There were many people predicting impending coming of Mashiach and now you, through trashing our social structures and ideologies. Mashiach predictors have one thing in common and that uniting thing throughout the centuries have been how wrong they were. It is convenient to be dismissive about what other people are doing, kvetching about how politicians are selling you out and making all the wrong choices, wrap it with a sincere smile of a wise-looking rav with a white beard and you have a great package of contempt for pretty much everything non-chareidi. Thank you for your productive input and uplifting speech, we will be patiently waiting for complete destruction of the world as predicted by you.

Accelerating Geula in Hard Times + Technology

"The Zohar indicates that the mitzvah of shiluach hakain is instrumental in bringing about the ultimate geulah. When a mother bird is pained by being chased away from its nest, the angel in charge of the birds intercedes on its behalf and asks hashem to have pity on it. As a result, hashem has pity on his “nest”(Yerushalayim) that was destroyed, and his “children”(klal yisrael) who were exiled" or indicted on a number of charges and denied bail like Sholom Rubashkin.

There is some disagreement about an appropriate way to do this mitzva. Some say that it must be done regardless of one's desire to eat eggs some say the opposite. Perhaps this was a motivation that caused Sholom Rubashkin to have two birdhouses (see picture), so he could be Yotzi b-kol schitas and secure speedy release from federal authorities.

I downloaded the picture from an article on the shturem site that calls for Monday 01/26/2009 to be a day filled with tefila and tehilim on behalf of Sholom Rubashkin. This popular Lubavicth site proclaims 01/26/2009 as a day of fasting and tefila. This proclamation is concrete step to alliviate a shortage of celebrated dates in Chabad organization. The storm of heavens is supposed to start in NY at the Rabbi's Ohel. Sholom Rubashkin has done an outstanding service to Jewish Community alledgedly not letting even American Law to stand in the way of helping Jews to achieve greater financial independece.

Some of the persecution arguments for denying bail have been a focus of criticism. Specifically Israel's "Law of Return" that gives citizenship to any Jew making aliya was sited as a reason to deny bail. If this argument stands than all Jews would become a subject to a tougher bail requirements in US. On the other hand, a couple of Rubashkin's partners have already fled to Israel to avoid persecution in US because of the dubious extradition rules in Israel. Persecutors also alledge that Rubashkin was "ready to flee" when apprehended, which they gathered from the fact that Rubashkins had $17,000 in cash on hand and family documents and heirlooms packaged in a bag. While situation is complicated, it is unfortunate that the father of 10 is kept away from his family during preparation for the trial.

Not to finish on the sad note, technology desk of shturem reports new advances in remote farbrengen that are poised to open up new telecommuting opportunities for Rabbis and Jews across the globe. Virtual farbrengen is here to save the day. One on one with a bottle of mashke can make for a depressing evening; not so when you can join thousands of like-minded Lubavitchers around the world.

This post is dedicated to the Zchus and Aliya of neshama of Benjamin (Bugsy) Seagal zt"l whos untimely passing did not allow him to see creation and development of the thriving Las Vegas jewish community.

Whipple school meeting scheduling snag overcome

Many residents of West Rogers Park were upset when they learned that the community meeting about upcoming Whipple school was to be held on Wednesday 1/14 @ 7 pm in Beis Yitzhak. Timing of the event caused suspicion because alderman Bernard Stone set it to the same day, as the annual Kvetchathon of Rogers Park. Hoping for the light attendance due to kvetchathon Stone must have looked forward to an easy proceeding. However, concerned about education of their kids, kvetchaton contestants incorporated competition into the meeting itseld and were able to combine both events.

Bernie himself started the meeting wearing a yarmulke, however he removed it shortly before the meeting got underway, as an admission that he will not pass the kvetching qualifier.

Everything started very orderly. Stone addressed the community with vigor that was surprising for a septuagenarian (80 yo +). He was very lucid and apparently aware of his surroundings. Meeting organizers brought various responsible specialists from Public Building Comission of Chicago. Traffic Planner, Architect, Foreman, Project Manager, School Planning Guy and an Indian dude switching slides were present. Also present were 60 or so frum yiddin and 2 or so potential parents.

Meeting started only 5 minutes late and the first request was to hold off with questions and comments until the end of the presentations. Surprisingly community adhered to this request for almost 5 seconds. Presenters disregarded out-of order questions and went through material rather swiftly. After presentation was over people lined up to ask questions. Most questions were asked by the members of the Jewish community and adhered to a kvetch association approved forms / templates listed below:

• How dare you __________[ ...... 5 min of hq kvetching here] NO I DID NOT INTERRUPT YOU .... dont you DARE to .......
  
• If you had any intelligence you would ______________________
• I have never heard ____________________________
  

The issues raised included the following:

1. Street parking that will be used by school staff, visitors because of insufficient 30 space parking space in school.
2. Unruly gangs of elementary school students descending on Chepewa park.
3. General goishe invasion and transit through an otherwise perfect Jewish ghetto.
   
4. Traffic jams caused by parents descending on school for Erev Shira.
   
5. All exists leading to Whipple and forcing all this goishe traffic onto a single quiet street.

Some additional issues raised were:

• What would happen if the whole Whipple street was completely on fire (molten lava, or a nuclear bomb perhaps?) and both exits used by FD on whipple were blocked by rubble.
• Why can't the school dig through to Kedzie irrespective of private property.

Another issue was scheduling of one of the preliminary meeting on Jewish Yom Tov. People accused administration and Stone specifically in being blind and stupid for doing that. My personal impression, given the display on Wednesday meeting is that scheduling meeting on Yom Tov was a brilliant move to get anything

In general this meeting gave us a preview of how horrible it would be had Naisy Dollar won the aldermanic election. If this is what Jewish alderman is doing to us, a goishe woman would definately start pogroms. Once I am at it, a big thanks for the empty buildings on Wallen Drive, our substandard Public Library, trashy streets and great prices on Haj Travel available on Devon Ave.

So thanks to all of those who campaigned so hard for good old Bernie!

Security innovation creates dedication opportunities

In light of recent vandalism against Jewish institutions of Chicago and financial pressures, Heritage RJC implemented a new security measure. In a ceremony that was well covered by local news media and attended by local government officials, a security device was placed on the collection box. Ribbon-cutting was performed by Chicago mayor Richard Daily.


New padlock secures the treasure in the pushka and provides many much-lacking sponsorship opportunities. Some experts speculate that this innovation points to the future direction of improvements and investments in the shul. According to anonymous sources a chain that would secure the pushka could be a next in series of improvements with traps and hidden cameras installation following soon in the 2nd quarter. Each one of these will provide new sponsorhip opportunities while enhancing overall security of the organization.

New sponsorship option offers better value

Board has reached a decision about changes in overall kiddush strategy.
In response to dwindling (but unknown) supply of money coming into shul's coffers it has been decided to change the cost and structure of kiddush sponsorship. Instead of just sponsoring kiddush you can (have to) now sponsor an entire Shabbos. Of course this higher-level honor comes at a premium to previous less glorious kiddush sponsorship package.
Board was able however to keep the price increase to a minimum, by adding just $180 or 100% to the price of the existing package. The value difference however is immeasurable as summarized in the following table:

	Kiddush Only	Entire Shabbos sponsorship
Length of Time	1 hour	25 hours
Mitzvas D'Oraisa	0	1+ (there are many additional mitzvas from Torah that one can do in order to increase the value of your investment)
Zchus Points	Limited	All (there are opinions that observance of Shabbos is equivalent to observance of all mitzvos)

As you can see new package offers a much better value.

It is said that tzedakah is the best tool to use in order to increase / secure one's income. Because of that it is a good news that economic slowdown has not impacted finances or reserves of the members of the shul B"H, just the shul itself. An old saying claims that "there is no atheist in the foxhole". Well apparently "foxhole" feeling has not reached the members of Heritage, otherwise the purse would be bursting at the seams.

Board as well does not anticipate economic impact at member's households, because of it did, they would try to maximize saving by curbing spending across-the-board: outlays from shul as well as outlays from members.

Tips on extracting the maximum value from new package:

• Try to do as many mitzvas on the Shabbos that you are sponsoring to get more out of it. Also try to encourage others to do mitzvas.
• Try to delay Seuda Shlishi as long as possible and cause shul to end Shabbos as late as possible, this will increase your value as the time of the mitzva increases.
• Try to peddle various honors to other member or people passing in front of the shul for money to recoup some or all costs, its your Shabbos.
• Ask everyone on the way home "How are you?" when they say "Good" reply, "I am glad to hear it, because today's Shabbos is sponsored by me"

On a serious note

Board could do better than the proposed change. A better multi-pronged approach would be to reduce costs of kiddush / Shabbos, in combination with a more modest increase in sponsorhip cost. This less drastic change could better be absorbed by community. Here is an example of what it could look like:

Non-sponsored configuration

• Default cholent to parve ($30 savings)
• Do away with cakes ($30 savings)
• Cheaper(est) disposable plates ($5 savings)
• No fruits / no cutting prep expense ($15 savings)
• Matzah only shalosh seudos ($25 savings)

Attach your name to kiddush: $220

Total Savings + increase in sponsorhip cost: $145

Sponsored configuration

same as above, however sponsor can improve the kiddush as follows:

• Adding meat or herring to cholent (actual cost + procurement cost)
• Any other imbelishments (subject to shul rules) actual cost

Soviet expatriots are more likely to react negatively to any change. A plan similar to the one above would minimize a chance of such resentment.

First Heritage Board Meeting Report

January 8th 2009 will have a special place in history as a date of the first meeting of the Board of Directors for Heritage Russian Jewish Congregation (RJC). I was not able to attend due to prior obligations, however, I received a detailed account of what happened from an anonymous but extremely reliable source.

Main points in a nutshell:

• The meeting was conducted in a civilized and diplomatic manner with no shouting, name-calling or condemnations.
  
• Aside from the fact that only two non-board members attended the meeting, which demonstrated the un-ending support for Heritage, the Board was not able to contain some of its participants from making derogatory comments and the like. Light non-board attendance could be caused by an earlier email that appeared to suggest that the only mode of communication with the board is a good old "email, take a number, get a hearing" approach
  

Reflecting on what transpired at the meeting I want to suggest a few pointers for the future:

1. Individuals wishing to run for the board should be subject to a campaign in the form of at least a Candidates Night, where they would present themselves and explain how exactly they will be able to contribute to the shul.
   
2. Individuals receiving any type of monetary compensation from Heritage should not be part of the board and should not participate in the board meetings aside from answering questions asked by board members and presenting a monthly progress report if request by the board.
3. All persons receiving monetary compensation from Heritage and holding a supervisory position within the congregation should be present at the board meeting upon the request of the board in order to answer all applicable questions and provide necessary reports.
4. Each meeting should begin or end with "member time", where ten to fifteen minutes will be allocated to issues and/or concerns from non-board meeting participants.
5. Any negative verbal exchange between the Board and non-member participants or between non-member participants should be strictly moderated and not permitted.
6. Any discussions, contract issues, etc., should be documented at each meeting in writing and made available in the form of minutes to everyone via either the Heritage blog or on paper at the following meeting.
7. The Board should be aware of ALL financial matters pertaining to Heritage and have a paid appointed individual, which I believe is on Heritage payroll, who would be responsible for reporting all financial figures.
8. If the board has private issues, which they wish to discuss privately, that can be done in an executive session following the Board meeting.
   

As they say in the old country: "Первый блин всегда комом". Here is to a better tomorrow!
(this post is from an independent contributor and does not represent the view of the Heritage Times)